Cover.  Author attributed to originator. 

There were times when Stella and me, we got a little tipsy and decided to not spend a night out at a bar. Having been alone and abandonded for many years, I picked up Stalla and started strumming. Something happened to me as a child, my world ripped in two and after many heart felt betrayals, I masked the reality with a double shot of Tequila and a Corona chaser… “Might as get to where I am going fast.” Right?  

I used to tell the joke I had herd that “The Lord will provide” It was funny until I was almost the woman in this joke. So it goes something like this.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was this elderly lady that was devoded to God. She was about everything God wanted in a child. She prayed to him regularly, she donated to the needy, went to church and well…she was nearly perfect!

Then one day a great storm came and the community she lived in began to flood. The waters started to rise and the civil servants such as the police and firemen drove around the streets knocking on doors and using the loud speakers warning the residence that waters are rising and the town is flooding.  

So one of the police officers knocked on this womans door and said to her, Lady, the town is flooding and you need to come with us or find a way to get out. 

The lady replied, “oh no, the Lord will provide” and refused to leave. 

Then, the water has rose some 4′ deep. Now, a rescue crew came in a boat and yelled to her, Lady, you need to come with us. Again she refused to listen and yelling, the Lord will provide. She then proceeded to take her ladder and leaned it up to the roof and climbed upon the roof.

The storm continued to pour down rain and the water was not near the roof edge. Just then, a helicopter arrived. The rescuers call out to her. Lady, get in the harness and come with us. She again refused to let herself be saved saying, the Lord will provide. 

Then, the waters rose even more, sweeping her off the roof and into the waters. And she drowned. Sadly, she was not dead. And, she believed in the Lord with all her heart and sould. There was good news to come. 

The good news was, she made it to heaven. She was where she wanted to end up but did not think is would be soo soon! She went to visit God and with a little bit of an attitude said to God. I did everyhing in my power to be the best example of what a child of Christ should be. Why did you let me drown? 

And God replied. “Lady, I sent you a ground crew, I then sent a boat crew and finally I sent an Air crew. What more did you want?”

Then one night, I started out with my double shot of tequila and a Corona back. Now I was wearing a boot brace due to an broker ankle. Some jerk sucker punched me with no warning. Blind sided me. I did not even know it was coming. No harsh words. No hard looks, just some chicken-shit bastard who had little hands.  

Wow! I did see clouds after his solid punch. As I looked through the clouds I seen his little “pink-small” fist headed right towards me. Now he had distance and a wind up to take me out! I was used to practing hundreds of block-punch combinations but now I was sitting on a bar stool with my vision seeing a cloud and the only thing I could do was reaach with a block and a clinch! I blocked and put my hand behing this little bastards head so he could not get positing to knock me out. 

I remember seting his blue eyes, so wide and in a look of surprise. He thought he had me and to his surprise I block and clinched. Remember, I am feeling very intoxicated, so he push me over the bar stool and landed on me and my outstretched leg. The problem was, as I soon discovered, was my foot was still caught in the metal frame of the stool.  

Idid not realize the damaged that had been done at the instant this happened but stated to wonder why, as I stood up and got ready to beat the living crap out this asshole, i lost my balance and fell to the ground on my backside. 

When I lited my legs to standup, my right foot was not there! Well, it was not where it was suppose to be. It was spun around upside down. It was snapped off the ankle and twisted. 

And here I thought I was being blessed because two gorgeous women gave me their phone numbers without me even asking! I had been divorced and single to way too long, had not been out or talked to a sexy woman in nearly six months.  

i was taken to the hospital and had surgery. I foot was saved. And, this was the Lords “ground crew” I later realized. 

So, back to the bartender that served me the double shot of tequila and the Corona back. Here I thougth the bartendress like me as she was pouring me triples. I was dancing with the most beautiful woman that evening. Wow! And then?

Then I felt the room shift! OH OH… I was in trouble. So I thought I better make a b-line for the door and get home before I became to bind to see. It was raining that night. No it was not flooding. Come on!  

I was on the street next to the policy deparment. And, that dam Ford Truck.. The the tires when making a turn would break and burn rubber. Well, burn rubber if the street was dry. But, on this nigh it was soaked. And, as I made a left turn onto Hwy 88 the tires broke and the truck fish-tailed swinning the tail end around.  

I remember as I got ready to make that left, the rain stated pouring down so hard that even wiith the windshield wiper on full speed, I could not see out the windshield clearly.  

So, I slammed on the breaks and with what seemed in slow motion, the truck hydroplaned across the highway in slow motions. I went over the embankment, sliding down hill and came to a halt. I was in deep shit now. I just had to get in an accident across the stree from the Jackson police department. 

I was seatbelted in, looking out the window, rain still pouring down when I seen out the driver side window a police officer running toward me. All of a sudding he stopped. That was strange! Why did he stop? 

He then started running once again. As he ran he withdrew his police baton and smashed the window, reached in side, unlocked the door and pulled with all his might to swing the doow open. 

Then, as if practiced repeately, he drew out his knife, slashed the seat belt and drug me from the seat. He did this after “turning off” the engine as it was still running. 

A few days later, I received a phone call from an Ex-wife. She asked me how I was doing and then along the way commented. “Your are lucky to be alive Valencia” I replied, “I know, I really screwed up, now I have have a DUI, my name is in the paper and I totaled my truck. I know” And then she repeated it again adding “no” to the comment. She said “No! You are lucky to be alive because you hit a gas main and could have blown yourself up!”

And then, like some kinde of movie, I seen the police officer running toward me and then stopping. Remember? This is when I was thinking, “Why did he stop?” It suddently dawed on me, he smelt the gas, he knew the engine was running and there could have been an enourmoust explosion that could kill him and me.  

He put his life on the line for me and I will thank him always in my heart! Always…; Yes, this is the Lord sending and other rescrew angel to same me. I get it. I got it. I do not need to NOT listen to you signs of help. I thank you God. I got it.

Eventually, to get my driver’s license back I had to go to DUI classes. It was one of the best things I ever did. It was a realy wake up event. And, then I began to fellowship with three Churches of various denominations. 

Once of the people made a statement to me. Jesus resides with you. You are his temple. And Jesus does not want to reside and will live within you when you are not clean. Putting things into your body that affect your spirit is not where Jesus wants to live. 

So, it finally sunk in. Jose, Don Pedro or Jack were not my friends! I gave it all up 2010 and have never regreted it. I love the clarify life. 

Thank you God. Amen.